Getting married should always be for the sake of the children. To make more children, to raise children, to guide children. Whatever quarrels or trials couples get into, which is usually cliché, just suck it up and keep your marriage intact and harmonious for the sake of your children.
For example, with the cliché situation husband has a third party whether it is a mistress, a girl friend, a one night stand, or prostitutes… this describes the cliché 99% of the males in the Philippines… if a wife decides she wants a separation because husband is in this cliché of having sex with another woman, then she needs to suck it up and change her “made for TV paradigm” of faithful monogamy or bust… because it is just plain dumb, stupid and idiotic to believe in this fairy tale of faithful monogamy or bust… this is just plain wrong.
Let me explain. If you put a tracking device and video camera in the butt of every Filipino male in his entire lifetime, then you may see the cliché 99% of male infidelity in action, which is enabled by their counterpart cliché of of Filipino women who heartily indulge in having sex knowingly, willingly and preferably with married men.
So the intactness of Filipino “Christian” marriages in the 21st century relies in instilling realistic expectations from Filipino first wives. These first wives need the experiential wisdom of mistresses that male infidelity is normal and something that needs to be accepted as this has been the Filipino reality and tradition for hundreds of years. Adoption of Catholic vows has not changed this biological wiring.
Don’t be the hag wife who makes unreasonable expectations of fidelity from husbands and be all to willing to sacrifice your sons and daughters to live a life of separated parents. Your personal pride vs the sake of the children should be a no brainer. Let me spell it out for you:
Stomp on your pride and suck it up for the sake of the children.
Don’t ask, don’t investigate, stop paying for private investigators to track down your husband. If you look for “it”, infidelity, you will surely see it. So just stop looking and just assume it.
My grandma kept her family intact by being sweet to my grandpa and had sex with my grandpa each and every time he asked for it. “I never say no” was my grandma’s moto. Something you first wives should learn. My grandma was the 2nd wife… the mistress… so yes, she knew, she knew.