06.10.07
What are the chances you will have a successful “monogamous” marriage?
This is an answer I gave in a thread in Manilatonight.com
The question was: “What are the chances you will have a successful marriage?”
Let me define what I mean by “successful marriage”? By successful marriage, I mean that your average happiness over the rest of your life will be greater if you are married, than if you are single.
How can you know yourselves well enough to be sure that the things you and your partner love about each other won’t change? How do you know you will grow in the same directions?
How can you make a fifty year prediction about the lives of two people given so little information and life experience? How can you be sure when the best minds in social science don’t understand the necessary elements for a successful marriage?
In the U.S., where I grew up, the divorce rate is 50%. But, I think that 50% of the marriages that stay together probably are unhappy. I think that only 50% of the remaining quarter are happier as a couple than if they were single. Therefore, I estimate that the marriage success rate in the U.S. is 12.5%. In the absence of all other information, my chance of successful marriage is one in eight.
Do marriages have a greater chance of success in the Philippines? Or are there just as many unhappy marriages?
We all know the facts. We have all witnessed the misery that can occur in families. But we marry eventhough the odds are against us. Is it a rational decision? Or are we driven by internal forces beyond our control?
Or … Is my analysis wrong? Am I asking the wrong questions?
-q
Expectations must be correct.
Some concepts that you need to know, accept with an open mind:
1. The concept of pure monogamy or believing that a man will only have sex with 1 woman for his whole life is false. If this is your expectation, then you are setting yourself up for failure. Males are NOT monogamous by nature.
2. Therefore, expect men to be polygamous. Either they have a mistress. Or go to prostitutes. Or have FUBUs. Many wives choose prostitutes for their husbands as the least troublesome. The problem is there are some husbands who dislike prostitutes and would rather have a “clean” mistress. Make your arrangements clean.
3. Women can and do cheat. Since it is the 21st century, all babies must be dna tested to make sure you the alleged husband will commit your energies and time and money.
4. Contraception. Many wives today demand contraception. NFP is contraception. So talk about it and see what works for you. Personally, I see any form of contraception as unhealthy. So my philosophy is, if you don’t want to get pregnant, do not have sex with me. Of course if a wife does not give sexual favours to her husband, husband reverts to #1 and #2.
5. Not enough children. There should be enough children between the husband and the wife so none of them can make the stupid stance of trying to separate and try to parent alone. A minimum of 4 or 5 children will stifle any and all notions of separation. You will want to cooperate and parent until death do you part because you have to, because you need to. Those with just 1 or 2 children? Easy separation. Pride steps in.
6. Not enough sons. Sons require greater parenting. The more sons you have, the less chances of separation. The cure for feminism is 2 sons. Any feminist can be cured if she bears 2 sons. But if all you have are daughters, then separation is easy.
7. Man does not have enough money, not enough health. Women are user friendly. If the husband becomes a liability, she will find another husband. Since most wives today are career women, this means they do not take care of their husband at all. They don’t support their husband’s career. So men, you are on your own.
8. Career women. If the woman is a career woman, the higher the probability of separation. Career women are married to their job. Their husband is their corporation. Career women meet “better men” and thinks their husband is not as great as she thought he was. Husband is just another big child pestering her for sex. If you want a higher probability of success, get a housewife who handles children and the household hands on and gives as many babies as god will gift her.
There are other stuff, but you have to pay me for my time. This is as much as I can give during my free time.
